Dear Barry from Verizon Customer Service:

I am sorry for being a rude customer today.  i was angry and took it out on you.  You did not deserve to be treated like that so I hope you will forgive me.

Kathy

After calling Verizon once again, to reduce the amount on our bill, I felt the frustration that unresolved or poorly resolved anger leads to.  A year ago, we signed the contract thinking it said something other than what it really said and we have been paying for that misguided decision ever since.  Well, we can finally, get on top of it and I had just called customer service to have them make some adjustments.

That’s when Barry started to “explain” things to me.  Just like the others tried to “explain” things to me over the past year.  I lost my temper and told Barry I didn’t want to hear his explanation and I wanted him to take care of the things I asked for not try to educate me on how foolish I was to sign on the dotted line or worse yet….believe the sales person.

In the end, Barry took care of these adjustments and I took care of him having a good day.  I am not proud of my actions. My frustration and anger may be justified but taking it out on someone who has no ability to change things and wasn’t the source of the problem isn’t appropriate.  Why do I feel I can treat Barry or anyone for that matter like that?

The truth is, my problem is I get angry and then try to rationaize it.  Anger is okay, when we deal with it in a way that brings glory to God.  ( In your anger, do not sin.  Doesn’t mean you can’t feel or get angry, it just means you can’t lose it when you’re angry and devalue people by your actions.)

So, this being a more healthier me, doesn’t just revolve around what I eat, or how active I am.  It is about acknowledging my feelings and dealing with things the better way.  I’m not perfect and I like to be in control.  I like to tell people off when it makes me or my situation feel better.

This decision to be a better me isn’t just focused on eating better, moving more and feeling better.  It’s about everything that makes me who I am.  How I see things, how I respond, and how I can make better choices.

Eating wasn’t as much of an issue today.  I made some better choices in that regard.  I am trying to recognize trigger foods. I am telling myself, a box of chocolates, or discounted heart shaped candy does not mean love.

I had to toss my pretty spring valentine boquet of Iris and tuplips out today.  They had blossomed and were beautiful for their time.  When I received them in the 1-800-Flowers box they were wilted and looked like they might not make it. But after a little attention, a little pruning, and arranging in the special water with the solution they responded and opened up.

I think maybe God is working on this flower too.  Sometimes pulling me out of my box and finding me a bit wilted in areas like my temper or tongue. But He’s working on me pruning some of those rough and dead spots off and the water I rest in is full of the Holy Spirit giving me the perfect environment in which to bloom to fully open up.  It’s then when I am open and soaking up His love for me that others will see His beauty in me.

I have decided that I need to pay attention to how I treat others when I feel devalued.

Kathy