Last night I was too tired to write. Yesterday, I didn’t feel so well.  But I did walk the dog and track my food.  Tonight I went to Planet Fitness with a friend.  It felt good to MOVE.  To do something.  My back yelled at me later when I got home but it was worth it and my friend motrin helped me out.

I was explaining to Dan and my friend how it’s not about what I eat as much as why I am eating. Sometimes I am eating to fill a void.  I need to learn what these voids are and why I try to fill them with artificial satisfaction.

Sometimes it’s just boredom.  Sometimes it’s because I am tired…staying up too late, maybe?  Instead of eating at 1 a.m. I should just go to bed.   Maybe I am lonely or need to be creative or helpful.  Maybe I just need to get up and fold the laundry or sort the box or the basket that’s full of stuff to be sorted just patiently waiting for me.

This decision is a quest.  It’s to discover who I am and why I do what I do and don’t do what I should do in some cases.  I want to become strong physically so I can run that race, or paddle that boat, or hike that trail. But I also want the other kind of strength that makes wise people wise, and mature people mature and godly people godly.

This week I am working on grabbing time and moments and not letting the day just dictate to me what I am going to do but instead be intentional about my day and what I want to accomplish. Maybe that should include first and foremost an invitation to my Lord and Savior as to what His mission is for me that day.  After all, this quest isn’t just about me.  It’s about seeking Him and hiding in Him and in doing so learning who I am.

The week is young.  Can’t wait to see what I discover tomorrow.

Kathy