Tag Archive | Contentment

Day 6

Feb22

Today I slept in until almost noon.  It’s Saturday.  I sleep in on Saturdays.  My room stays dark like night so unless I look at the clock I have no idea how late it is.  That’s okay because on Saturday I have permission to sleep in….permission from myself.

I started cleaning the shelves in the laundry room when my friend from college called me.  We haven’t talked in a very long time.  But she is the kind of friend where we pick up where we left off.  We talked for almost 2 hours when I had to get going but we still have some catch up to do so I think another call is needed.

Tonight Dan and Isaiah and I went to see River City Improv in Grand Rapids.  It’s been a long time since we’ve done anything of that nature.  It was nice to get out during the evening and actually do something.  MidNight did well with the folks and settled down nicely after her evening snack of pop corn and time spent chewing her bone.

Mom is planning on going to church with me and Isaiah in the morning.  She will be glad that she did because she really likes to go…it’s just the getting up and getting out that’s hard.

I think if there is a word I need to explore and think about for the next few weeks it would be “intentional”.  The past couple days I have just gone along with the rhythm of the day. I didn’t really set out to accomplish much. I didn’t really make time to be active. I didn’t track what I was eating.  I think part of what I need to learn to do is be more intentional about my day. When will I do “X” and what will I eat.  How will I spend my time?  Where will I compromise and go with the flow and where will I be structured and determined to follow an intentional guideline?

My goal for tomorrow:  Be intentional about taking a walk with Isaiah and MidNight.  Be intentional about tracking what I eat.

My goal for the week:  Go to planet fitness one to two times for 1/2 hour each time.

This week

  • I have decided to be intentional on how I spend my day and to resist letting it slip by .I have decided to take better care of myself. 
  • I have decided that I need to pay attention to how I treat others when I feel devalued.
  • I have decided to count my blessings on very normal, ordinary days and recognize each day is a gift.
  • I have decided: to ask God to help me more often and to recognize when I need the help.
  • I have decided that: it just isn’t worth getting all upset about stuff…God is good…and He’s got this.

Kathy

February 16, 2015 Day 1

Feb17

I did something a bit risky last night around the same time as I am writing now.  I wrote on FB about my need to change the way I take care of myself.  I identified myself as a caregiver, which I am, both at home ( caring for my parents and family) and professionally ( caring for the elderly).  It took me a long time to embrace the title of caregiver.  But I know that’s what I have been called to do and I know that’s what my passion is.

I shared how I do not take care of myself like I should and simply asked for a bit of prayer and encouragement.  I was overwhelmed with the response I received.  I had no idea that many people would pray for me or express their belief in me and their love for me.  It brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my heart and face.

Today I began this journey.  I stayed faithful in tracking what I ate.  I walked the dog with Isaiah after school and I kept busy.  I resisted the urge to give into that wave of sleepiness and desire to just sit and watch t.v…watch really, the day go by.  I did good today.

But the biggest thing I learned today, is that I am loved by a lot of people.  There are a lot of people who have decided too, to pray for me, to lift me up with their words of encouragement and that feels really good.  So…if you are reading this…thank you.  You have no idea how good it feels to have been a result of your choice to respond to my request.  I feel tonight, very blessed.

I plan to journal daily, right here, so feel free to join me.

Kathy

Bloom Where You are Planted?!!! Really, Lord?

Feb14

Okay, Lord.  You have my attention again.  I thought I had a pretty good plan.  I thought I had the right idea, the green light to move ahead, the thumbs up to proceed. Imagine the surprise I felt when the door slammed shut right in my face.  No knob to turn, no key to try just a locked door staring me in the face.  My first response was that of pure emotion.  Pure let’s fix this.  Pure I don’t like slamming doors and I want to find another way to what’s on the other side of that door.  

Wise advice….think it through.  Don’t make any rash decisions.  Just think about it.  

The debate in my head is louder than the slamming door.  Do I accept the closed door as God’s way of saying “nope…not right now, Kathy.This isn’t what I want for you.” Or do I pray for boldness and despite what seems to be a “closed door” look for and fight for a new opening.  Do I choose passivity or assertiveness?  Which one is it?  

And then the thought….maybe you should just “bloom where you are planted.”  I first hear the phrase a few days ago.  I was listening to someone speaking he said, and when things don’t go your way…accept it as part of God’s big picture in your life and bloom where you are planted.  

Really….just bloom…is that really what this is all about.  Blooming doesn’t happen overnight Lord.  It means putting down roots, it means nurturing the plant, it means giving time to a situation I am not satisfied in.  I don’t want to bloom.  I want to take my roots and plant them somewhere else.  I want to bloom in some other soil.  I want to blossom in a different pot of dirt.  But there is no other pot and there is no other soil.  

And so I sigh.  A big sigh. A soul sigh.  A tired of this sigh.  And yet I know that right now the thing that I must do is put off restlessness, put off discontent, put off striving and desiring the other side of the fence.  Instead He is asking me to be content.  Be happy with the soil He has provided.  Be pleased with the pot He has tenderly  planted me in.  Be open to the nurturing and pruning He administers to me and to quietly bloom.  

What will I be when I bloom?  What will the fruit look like?  What will the outcome be?  

He answers me before I ask the question:  Galatians 5:22 – 23  (NIV) “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

What will I look like when I bloom?  Hopefully a lot less like me and a lot more like Jesus.  

6 who, though he was God, did not demand and cling to his rights as God, 7 but laid aside his mighty power and glory, taking the disguise of a slave and becoming like men. And he humbled himself even further, going so far as actually to die a criminal’s death on a cross. (Phil. 2:6-8 Living Bible) 

Which leaves me with the final challenge to (Phil. 2 : 14 – 16 NIV) “ Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.”   

Thank you Lord, that at the end of the day, or the end of the disappointment, or the end of the failed attempt, or when the door slams or doesn’t open You remain faithfully in control of the door.  I will choose again to trust You and by your grace choose to be thankful for the soil and the pot you’ve provided and by your grace bloom where You have planted me.