Okay, Lord.  You have my attention again.  I thought I had a pretty good plan.  I thought I had the right idea, the green light to move ahead, the thumbs up to proceed. Imagine the surprise I felt when the door slammed shut right in my face.  No knob to turn, no key to try just a locked door staring me in the face.  My first response was that of pure emotion.  Pure let’s fix this.  Pure I don’t like slamming doors and I want to find another way to what’s on the other side of that door.  

Wise advice….think it through.  Don’t make any rash decisions.  Just think about it.  

The debate in my head is louder than the slamming door.  Do I accept the closed door as God’s way of saying “nope…not right now, Kathy.This isn’t what I want for you.” Or do I pray for boldness and despite what seems to be a “closed door” look for and fight for a new opening.  Do I choose passivity or assertiveness?  Which one is it?  

And then the thought….maybe you should just “bloom where you are planted.”  I first hear the phrase a few days ago.  I was listening to someone speaking he said, and when things don’t go your way…accept it as part of God’s big picture in your life and bloom where you are planted.  

Really….just bloom…is that really what this is all about.  Blooming doesn’t happen overnight Lord.  It means putting down roots, it means nurturing the plant, it means giving time to a situation I am not satisfied in.  I don’t want to bloom.  I want to take my roots and plant them somewhere else.  I want to bloom in some other soil.  I want to blossom in a different pot of dirt.  But there is no other pot and there is no other soil.  

And so I sigh.  A big sigh. A soul sigh.  A tired of this sigh.  And yet I know that right now the thing that I must do is put off restlessness, put off discontent, put off striving and desiring the other side of the fence.  Instead He is asking me to be content.  Be happy with the soil He has provided.  Be pleased with the pot He has tenderly  planted me in.  Be open to the nurturing and pruning He administers to me and to quietly bloom.  

What will I be when I bloom?  What will the fruit look like?  What will the outcome be?  

He answers me before I ask the question:  Galatians 5:22 – 23  (NIV) “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

What will I look like when I bloom?  Hopefully a lot less like me and a lot more like Jesus.  

6 who, though he was God, did not demand and cling to his rights as God, 7 but laid aside his mighty power and glory, taking the disguise of a slave and becoming like men. And he humbled himself even further, going so far as actually to die a criminal’s death on a cross. (Phil. 2:6-8 Living Bible) 

Which leaves me with the final challenge to (Phil. 2 : 14 – 16 NIV) “ Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.”   

Thank you Lord, that at the end of the day, or the end of the disappointment, or the end of the failed attempt, or when the door slams or doesn’t open You remain faithfully in control of the door.  I will choose again to trust You and by your grace choose to be thankful for the soil and the pot you’ve provided and by your grace bloom where You have planted me.