Why oh Why do I stay up so late?

I ask myself this each day at 3 a.m when everyone else in the house is fast asleep

And here I find myself awake.

I haven’t gone to bed yet.  There’s something about this time of the day.

With everyone asleep, even the dog is snoring softly next to my feet.

Just me and the hum, hum, hum, of the furnace or the fridge share this moment.

Nearly silence, total and complete, but then the dog sighs .

Why oh why do I stay up so late?

I know in the morning I will drag my feet.

I will say with great determination at 3 p.m.” tonight I will go to bed early, turn in, before the clock strikes ten…

Or at least by 1:30 a.m. ”

I even set my alarm to remind me that I should be going that direction down the hall

to my comfy bedroom.

But here I sit in the quiet. Typing away, clicking those keys, listening to the clock strike 1, 2, 3 a.m.

And yes, it’s that time again.

To get some rest. To go to bed. To say good night to this little moment of sanctuary, and quiet alone time bliss.

3 hours isn’t enough, but I must get up at 6.

I have obligations that require my wakefulness.

I get to see the sun rise, or the fog lying close to the ground. I get to feel the wet dew as it lingers on the ground.

A few chores and a chat with the folks upstairs and then I will excuse myself to get back to my chair.

Where at last I will surrender and sleep will finally win.  And I will complain that I slept my day away again.

Because I can’t seem to understand or turn this thing around

Why Oh Why must I go to bed now?!